Fightin’ Words

What I’m about to say may divide me and you, dear reader. I’m more of an “establish common ground” kinda girl. I like to find connections between people and focus on our similarities. But my feeling on a particular subject goes against that of the social norm and I have prepared myself for the backlash. Here goes.

I hate Fall.

I know. A large portion of you are aghast upon reading this, thinking “But Manda, Fall is my favorite season!” and to that I say to you that Fall is nothing more than a long depressing prelude to and even longer and more depressing Winter. Welcome to the Midwest.

“But the leaves, hayrack rides, football, sweater weather!” you say. Now let’s play a little game of what you say versus what I hear:

“It’s so crisp and invigorating outside” = It’s so much harder to breathe and my fingers are numb.

“The changing leaves are so pretty.” = Look at all the dying vegetation!

Vegetation death.

Vegetation death.

“It’s nice to have a change in temperature.” = Oh yeah, f*** 75 and sunny! What kind of moron enjoys sunshine and temperatures comfortable enough to have any exposed skin?!

“The shorter days feel so cozy and make for great sleeping weather.” = 1). Who are you and how much responsibility do you lack to make “good sleeping weather” a priority? 2). Now I get to run and walk my dog in the dark. Yay.

But, alas, this is my reality. Fall, while officially not beginning until September 22 is unofficially kicked off by the return of  The Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. Which due the the large amounts of money it brings in for Starbucks, I think Fall now unofficially begins after the 4th of July.

pumpkin-spice-latte-sign-785463-thumb

Last weekend I asked B if he were to pack up all his loved ones and move somewhere south, where would he go. He chose Missouri if that gives you any indication of the likelihood of warmth in my future. Side-note, it’s time to get your flu shot!

However, my mom told me if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all so I’ll say a few nice things about Fall.

  1. Thanksgiving happens in the fall. I love Thanksgiving.
  2. College football happens in the fall. I enjoy college football.
  3. Pumpkin-containing baked goods happen in the fall. I love pumpkin-containing baked goods.
  4. Stocking cap weather returns in the Fall. Stocking caps are to not having to style your hair in the winter as sunglasses are to not having to wear makeup in the summer. #themoreyouknow

Do any of you suffer from the fall/winter blues?

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